


Musings of Maturity

by Aspens_corner



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24798073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspens_corner/pseuds/Aspens_corner
Summary: On growing up and living life.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2
Collections: Prose From the Abyss





	1. One

I knew what love was twice.  
Once in 8th grade,  
When the boy I’d been pining over since elementary  
Breathed my name into the air.  
For two years I felt whole.  
Things, it seems, never stay that way for long.  
On the first day of sophomore year,  
After a summer of confusion and regret,  
He said we should take a break.  
So I waited.  
And if there’s one thing I learned between sophomore  
And junior year,  
It is that you shouldn’t wait too long.  
Because I missed out on so much life.  
Because of the boy  
With the green eyes  
And the crooked smile.  
The second time was 8 months ago.  
When he put a necklace in my hand  
And told me I was worth it.  
And I believed him.  
Turns out you should not believe  
The boys with chapped lips  
And glassy eyes.  
He looked lifeless.  
And I didn’t realize his heart  
Would be the same.  
So now I am left in the dark to wonder,  
Am I really worth it?  
That necklace is still in my purse.  
Along with the ring he gave me  
When he got down on one knee.  
I think I’m done with love  
For a little bit.  
8th grade. 8 months.  
Maybe the next time I’ll learn to love  
Is when the clock strikes 8  
Again.


	2. Two

I’ll say it again,  
For the ones in the back:  
You keep saying next time will be different.  
You keep saying that it gets better.  
Well I say, suck it.  
How fucking long has it been  
Since I have been happy?  
How fucking long?  
How much longer  
Do I have to wait?  
Because I am so sick  
Of staring at the ceiling at 2am  
Wondering if I should just  
Take a whole bottle of pills  
And chase it with some scotch.  
I don’t believe anyone anymore.


	3. Three

Hey Emily,  
Remember me?  
Remember how you kissed me  
Underneath the slide  
At the playground by my house?  
Hey Emily,  
Remember me?  
Remember how you told  
The whole theatre troupe  
That I stole from them,  
Even though I didn’t?  
Hey Emily,  
Remember me?  
Remember how you started dating  
My ex-boyfriend’s best friend  
To piss me off?  
Hey Emily,  
Remember me?  
Remember how you changed  
Your name in junior year  
And I struggled to remember for a month?  
Hey Jay,  
Remember me?  
Remember how I’ve been there for you  
Through thick and through  
Fucking thin?  
Hey Jay,  
Remember me?  
Remember how I cried  
On my last day in Dover?  
Remember?  
Please remember.


	4. Four

I would be lying if I told you  
That I was okay.  
Because in truth, I am  
The furthest from okay  
That I have ever been.  
And I don’t know if  
Tomorrow will be better.  
I don’t know anything  
As of late.  
And I would be lying if I told you  
That I don’t feel like a bother.  
Because in truth, I feel  
Like I’m annoying you  
With every breath I take.  
And I don’t know if  
We should talk this late.  
Because emotions have an ugly way  
Of spilling past my lips  
At two in the morning.  
I’m scared of my own feelings  
Sometimes.


End file.
